I’ll Have a Flattie Thanks

I wrote this in 2016 or 2017 during the two years I lived in New Zealand. Some details — prices, hours, what’s open — may have changed, but the experience and my love for this place haven’t.

Before I moved to New Zealand, my partner lived with me for a while in Seattle. He’s a native Kiwi and had quite a bit of fun exploring the birthplace of Starbucks. He sneered when Starbucks started a campaign in Seattle in 2015 “introducing” the Flat White. Introducing? He scoffed. New Zealand has had Flat Whites since the age of dinosaurs and created the Flat White, etc. etc. etc.

What is a Flat White, I asked? He would define it as espresso with steamed milk and no froth. But his answer isn’t nearly as eloquent as Wikipedia’s:

The beverage is prepared by pouring microfoam (steamed milk consisting of small, fine bubbles with a glossy or velvety consistency) over a shot of espresso. It is somewhat similar to the traditional cappuccino or the latte, although smaller in volume, therefore having a higher proportion of coffee to milk, and milk that is more velvety in consistency — allowing the espresso to dominate the flavour, while being supported by the milk.

You can also order a “very” flat white with absolutely no froth at all. The important part for my partner is that there shouldn’t be lots of froth. My stepdaughter and I hide our heads in embarrassment if we go into a coffee shop and his Flat White comes out with froth. We will quickly start scooping it out so he doesn’t call the poor barista back and make them fix it. Some people take their froth VERY seriously.

The Flat White at its root is just coffee with milk. But where it came from is a genuinely unsettled debate — and a very heated one between New Zealand and Australia.

The Australian origin story begins in Sydney in 1985 at the Moors Espresso Bar, opened by Alan Preston, who says he put “Flat White” on his permanent menu after noticing cafes in his native Queensland commonly offered versions of white coffee. Coffee or Die The Kiwi counter-claim is equally specific and considerably more charming: in 1989 a Wellington barista named Fraser McInnes made a cappuccino with low fat milk that refused to froth. With typical Kiwi positivity he named the failed cappuccino a Flat White, and the term stuck. Eyesonnewzealand

My partner’s position — that New Zealand owns the Flat White — may have more to it than national pride. Even if it wasn’t invented in New Zealand, it was certainly perfected here. Kiwis use espresso shots rather than ristretto shots, resulting in a substantially more intense, robust flavour. Eyesonnewzealand Better milk helps too — New Zealand’s dairy industry is world class and better milk makes better coffee.

What isn’t disputed is that the Flat White is crazy common in New Zealand. It is served in every coffee shop and is the go-to drink for most people I know who drink coffee. At work, if we go out for coffee and don’t know what to order for someone, we just get a Flat White. You cannot go wrong.

My stepdaughter and I have given up trying to intervene when the froth police strikes. Some battles aren’t worth fighting.